The Peach State Wins

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Well, it’s official. We’re moving to Georgia.

Per usual, I’m filled with a mix of emotions. Anxiety, excitement, hope, and sorrow. I’m exhausted with Missouri but I still love my people. This move is just what our little family needs. Closer to family, closer to better hospitals, closer to better schools, and closer to a better environment for Critter.
We’ve been cloth diapering the entire trip! We’ve been here for three days so far and, thanks to my wonderful aunt and uncle, have had a pretty easy time of things! At first we thought it was going to be a big hassle but as we got into the swing of things, we realized that our fears were unfounded. They’re letting us wash the pre-folds, covers, and soakers in their washer and because we use those nifty disposable (biodegradable) liners, there is no rinsing involved! Critter’s heiny is cute, rash-free, and hassle-free!

We’re going to The World of Coca Cola tomorrow after the family gets home from church. I have to admit that I’m pretty excited! Today The Maternal Trio and Critter went house hunting and found ourselves inside a run-of-the-mill Burger King. We went to get our drinks and found a Coke machine! It’s this nifty piece of equipment that combines just about any kind of drink you could want! Well I love vanilla Coke and haven’t been able to drink it for about three weeks because of my poor sleepless Critter. I found the Holy Grail of breastfeeding treats!
Diet Caffeine-Free VANILLA COKE!
I was in hog heaven!
I know it’s not the healthiest thing for a nursing mother to consuming but since my caffeine fast I’ve felt so confined within the constraints of Critter’s tummy. I drank two of them… large. One right after the other. And it was delicious!

The hour is late and Critter needs nom-noms so I bid you adieu.

Until next time.

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I’m Not Happy About My Mum’s Birthday This Year

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My mum’s birthday is Feb 25th. I have always tried to be a happy camper for her on her birthday.

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I know a lot of people who grumble about people like me. I always thought that birthdays were wonderful! It’s a celebration between you and your family! Everyone who loves you is reminded of the day you were born and is allowed to celebrate you. I have a lot of people respond with statements such as, “It’s just another day.” or, “It’s not all about you.”
What downers.
For me, the celebration definitely goes both ways. I ecstatically sing/scream happy birthday to my loved ones like a bubbly child with too much frosting in their belly. I obnoxiously announce to the entire bar/restaurant that it’s my friend’s birthday. I’ve been known to bomb cars with brightly covered window chalk. I even stayed with a horrible psycho man on his birthday just so he could say he wasn’t alone. Everyone would feel like a putz if they made a big to-do about their own birthday so I do it for them.
And this is the part that I hate to admit:
I do it because I want them to feel special and loved on their birthdays but I also do it so they might think of me on my birthday. I know, I know! It sounds so selfish! But it seems like a win-win situation. They get to have someone who is truly, 100% excited about their birthday and I get some positive feedback (although, it doesn’t always work like this) on my, otherwise completely forgettable, birthday.)

But this year I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m going to have to fake happiness. Sure I’m super happy she was born and thrilled that I get to be her daughter but somewhere along the line, she got to the top of the hill. I am now terrified of her getting old. I’m not sure I’ll know how to be a mother when she’s gone. She’s my best friend. We enjoy an obscenely close relationship. I still, sometimes crawl in bed with her when Critter’s asleep and it’s been a particularly hard day. I can’t even handle the thought of her being gone. I don’t want to think about it. It’s just about as painful as the thought of Critter being gone. I won’t think about it. I feel selfish and immature when I say that but I really don’t care. My mum had better find herself a new plan that doesn’t include death.

So I’ll make her the (pineapple, cherry, strawberry upside down cake) cake and bring it and her gift to work tonight. I’ll sing Happy Birthday to her at the top of my lungs to inform the entire wing that it’s MY MUM’s birthday. I’ll give her a foot rub and be extra pleasant today. But let me be clear:

On the inside, I am not happy. On the inside, I’m angry and heartbroken and lost.

Maybe I should stop looking at birthdays as onestepclosertodeath-days but I can’t.

I love you Mum. Feel free to not have a birthday next year.

Can’t He Have The Best of Us?

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I’m sitting here at the end of, what I thought was, a very productive day. I’m eating a bowl of ice-cream and glancing over my shoulder occasionally to stare at Critter and make sure he’s still breathing. The ice-cream, while delicious, is not just a late-night snack. It’s an attempt to sweeten my mouth before I open it online.

Does anyone else have to fight the urge to smack people when they tell you how much your offspring looks like their other parent?

Maybe it’s because I’m a single parent. Maybe it’s because I’m not (and never have been) in a relationship with Critter’s dad. Maybe it’s me being hypersensitive. I’ll most likely never know. But I can tell you what it feels like they’re saying:

“Your son is nothing like you and never will be.”

In this situation, I feel like a little inside perspective is needed to understand and comment on the family dynamic. I find myself faced with all kinds of comments like this. Not all about Critter’s appearance either. Robbi’s family is always, if not saying it outright, hinting around the fact that they think Critter will be moody and a smart ass like his father. The crazy thing is that they say this with a smile and a chuckle! I don’t want a little smart ass running around my house with a bad attitude! I want Critter happy and imaginative- not jaded and snarky.  I fail to see why having the entirety of either of our personalities is a good thing. I have character flaws too. I’ll freely admit this fact. I want Critter to be the best of both of us. Being moody doesn’t have to be genetic. Being a nag (one of my worst qualities) isn’t genetic. I want to cultivate in Critter all the good in us and leave out all the weird and negative out.

In other news:

We’re still waiting on our Federal taxes to come in but in the mean time, I’ve decided to start making my diaper covers! I have to admit: I’m pretty nervous seeing as the last thing I attempted to sew was a Barbie doll dress in kindergarten (which ended up like a purple cave-woman shift) for Girl Scouts. I bought a pattern and have considered making some adjustments to it to make it look more like the fancy-schmancy covers I have. I’ll be trying this new (potential money-making) venture next Monday and will let you know how it goes.

I also spent an obscene amount of money on a breast milk supplement. Critter’s been at both NomNoms lately so I feel that the time has come to start worrying (worrying is kind of my thing) about my milk supply.

$18.97 at the local health foods store.

Directions: As a dietary supplement, take 2 capsules three times daily, or as prescribed by your health care provider.

I’m taking my third dose with a peach Faygo and I’ll give updates in a couple of days!

We also went to the park for the third time today! YaYa even stopped to pick Critter a daffodil. It was nice seeing all the other parents and realizing that I’m part of a wonderful club! Apparently, once you become a parent, it is appropriate to stare and smile at other people’s children! It’s okay to laugh when the two-year old behind you in line points at his tush and exclaims, “Pooped my butt!”. It’s a different experience going to a restaurant and hearing a fussy toddler. You understand because you have either been there before or it’s occurred to you that you will be there soon enough. Critter loves his stroller and the 70 degree weather we’ve had this week! I’ve decided to have more days like today.

My sugar buzz is flat-lining.
Goodnight

Young

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First post jitters!

So I’m going to try to keep this pretty informal. I’ll just be posting everyday updates, links, photos, and the occasional (probably pretty regular) rant.

I’m a gay, single, mother currently practicing (as much as you can with a 3 month old!) Attachment Parenting with my son. We’ll call him Critter. He nurses, co sleeps, wears cloth diapers, is uncircumcised, and his worn by his Maternal Trio. The Maternal Trio consists of me (Mama), my mother (YaYa), and my grandmother (GranGran). We all live together in a sweet and cozy little communal household. All money earned is shared and the same goes for love! I don’t work at the moment and I’m also taking a semester off from college to fully soak up the wonder of mommyhood. I’m 22 and have been traveling and working since I was 15. I feel like I’ve had a lot of fun so far!
And before anyone asks the question, I will not be discussing Critter’s conception story on my blog as of now. It’s a long and complicated tale that frankly is only the business of three people. That being said, I will probably disclose just about everything else (within reason and good judgment) about our journey! My goal is to reach out to other parents and get some helpful advice and maybe give some too!

Now, my mother was completely on board from the beginning when I told her about AP* but my Gran wasn’t too hip until we showed her some statistics and theories. Different generations and such. My mother actually practiced AP with me, to a degree, without even knowing it! So I knew she’d understand most of everything I’m planning for. Most people in my area not only don’t understand what I’m doing, but they actually disapprove! My goal is to move from this place in less than a year. Ideally, we’d be gone in six months.

But I guess that’s all I have right now. It’s almost 2am and I’ve got to wake Critter up for the feeding frenzy!

Goodnight